A Sallie Mae study showed that 64% percent of students who left school in the last 2 years return to their parent’s home after college. Personal finance gurus will tell you how smart this is, and how they wish they’d have stayed home to save money. Here’s why they’re wrong and why the city you choose to live in literally shapes the course of your life (arguably more than your college).
A common misconception is that not spending money on rent is textbook Opportunity Cost. In high school economics, this is one of the first things that you learn about. While potentially non-monetary, all actions have a certain "cost" to them, whether that be in learning you'd have going to school rather than working, or even the fun you'd have going out rather than reading. Everything comes with a price. The following is an itemized bill of everything you're paying for while saving money at your parents' house in your 20s.
The city you live in defines your work/career trajectory
If you want to be a farmer, it doesn't make too much sense to live in San Francisco. There's not much open space to grow crops, there's limited sunlight, and it may be hard to find people to work the fields. On the contrary, San Francisco is a great place for Software Engineers. There's tech companies on every block, almost everyone else is an engineer, and there's almost unlimited job opportunities for the right people.
Whether it be the physical geography, or the people that populate the area; where you live matters a lot for your career. If you want to be a content creator, you should go to L.A. If you want to be an IB analyst, you should go to NYC. If you want to start a tech company, you should go to San Francisco (SF).
If you want to succeed in something, it helps to surround yourself with people who have already done it, or are working their butts off trying to do the same thing you are. Ambitious people in any field have a tendency to flock together and typically always find each other.
Your city defines your relationships
Sort of a counterpoint, but by the time you turn 20, you've already spent 90% of the time you will ever have with your parents. Everyone has a different life and experiences, but perhaps you want to optimize to live close to your parents and maintain that relationship. People that are close to their extended family all tend to live in the same general area. Growing up, my extended family all lived in one of a handful of cities, the furthest ones being 2 hours from each other.
Although I sometimes see this as a crutch, people are unable to chase their true dreams and goals because they want to stay close to family. If you look at all of the people that have achieved goals you've set for yourself, think deeply about the decisions that they've made to get them there and think deeply about how much that means to you.
Some people are willing to make the tradeoff and move far away from family to do the things that they want, and to each their own. People often overlook this, but unless you're married or are prepared for long distance, you'll likely have to find a life partner in the city you live in.
Your local friend group will be the people you see most, and depending on the city you're in they'll have varying interests, ambitions, etc. and that will have a huge effect on you and your personality. Hanging around people you aspire to be like will bring you up, and living in cities with a higher density of people you want to be like will unconsciously make you better. It may be hard to find a group of AI researchers in Austin, Texas; similarly it won't be easy finding an amazing AAU Basketball Team in Fremont, California.
Why you shouldn’t move away
This writing is coming from a place of privilege, I’m so grateful to have parents who have allowed me to complete college without debt and have supported me in everything that I do. I’m currently paying for my own school and receive scholarship money, but I understand there are many people who aren’t as fortunate to have this cushion. I’d say this is the only reason to stay home post-grad, to take care of your family and save money to pay off debts.
So what I’m saying is
There’s a famous Chinese idiom: "fighting with a river behind you" or 背水一戰 (bèi shuǐ yī zhàn). Around 205 B.C. General Han Xin was leading an army against the Zhao kingdom, but he was vastly outnumbered. He ordered his troops to set up their battle formation with a river directly behind them. This was a dangerous, unconventional tactic, as it left no escape route, a move that is explicitly warned against in Sun Tzu's Art of War.
Seeing the Han army trapped against the river, the Zhao army laughed and attacked confidently. However, with their backs literally against the wall, the Han soldiers fought with the ferocity of men with nothing to lose. When the Zhao army turned to retreat, they were met with a surprise attack from a smaller Han force that had captured their main camp. The panicking Zhao army was then crushed between the two Han forces.
Think about moving to a new and bigger city putting a river behind you, removing the possibility of retreat and giving you no choice but to fight until the end until you succeed. That is how you should think about the city you decide to live in. Put yourself into uncomfortable situations, shoot higher, live ambitiously, and if you can, move out of your parents home as soon as possible.